Unexpected Career Boosters: Find Your Selfish Path To Giving Back

Many early career professionals and students are looking to make a difference and get recognition for their accomplishments, and I often advise them that being “selfish” could set them on their best path to giving back. To understand this counterintuitive concept, let’s go back to the beginning and examine what happened to me.

Many people don’t realize that when I took the first steps to debut what would later become the largest employee resource group at my organization (with over 1,000 members at my office location), I was motivated by a selfish goal.

Years down the line, when I would eventually be recognized and rewarded for the achievements of my group and the many careers it helped, I would sheepishly blush and try to explain “I didn’t mean to, it just happened…”

What was I trying to do back then? I was just looking for a friend to have lunch with.

I was fresh out of college in my first year working as a software developer and I was very lonely. I had been used to grabbing lunch with my school friends or study group, but suddenly found myself surrounded by no-nonsense colleagues who ate their sandwich in front of their computers without skipping a beat. I’d look around my office cafeteria and see other young recent grads on other teams, but how could I meet them? The solitary months passed, I kept watching from afar and waiting for something to happen, but of course nothing did. It took me far too long to realize that if you want something to change, you have to make it happen.

And this is what led me to visiting every coffee-break room at the company and putting up flyers inviting anyone to join a potluck lunch and chat about topics for women in tech. On the day of the lunch, as I nervously walked toward the picnic tables, awkwardly carrying a box of cupcakes, I wondered to myself if anyone else would show up or if I would be eating the entire box of sweet treats myself. But as is often the case, I was worrying needlessly because there was an incredible turnout to that first potluck – standing room only!

You see, while I was waiting around for something to happen, so were a lot of other people! And it just took one “selfish” person to go for it.

I quickly “took advantage” of this high level of interest and started a mailing list for the new group. Whenever I saw an interesting work-related event that I wanted to attend, but didn’t want to go alone, I would mail the group “does anybody want to carpool to next week’s tech talk?” As the group grew, I thought of another way to “use” the member directory: whenever I had a question on my mind and wanted to learn about a new topic I would ask for volunteers to teach us, e.g. “does anyone want to give a presentation about machine learning?”

But all the while, as I “selfishly” enjoyed the benefits of a new network, a wonderful side-effect was happening: the group members were getting back so much more! Those who joined me in the carpool for the after-work event learned skills they could bring back and use to impress their boss (skills they wouldn’t have known about if I hadn’t emailed the event to the list). And the developer who gave us the presentation about machine learning gained heaps of confidence in her ability to do public speaking and went on to give that same presentation to hundreds of attendees at her first conference (her first of many!)

As the group grew and grew, and I started to host my own events, moderate panels of expert speakers and develop mentoring initiatives etc., it soon took a lot more of my time and effort to maintain and lead. But all along my motivation stayed strong and grew along with the group because I was “selfishly” selecting events, topics, and initiatives that I cared about. By pursuing my own interests and passions, I ended up building a program that benefited the wider community.

Even now, years later, I still hear wonderful stories of members who found personal inspiration, new career opportunities, or simply not feel so alone by participating in the group.

As for me, I can directly trace my career success to the day I decided to selfishly start an initiative for the selfish reason of finding a lunch friend.

Key Takeaway:

It is much easier to start something and keep going if you have a “selfish” motivation

Action Steps:

If you are waiting for something to happen, chances are MANY others are out there waiting too --> go for it!

1. Be selfish: think of something that’s missing from your work environment, something that would make your own day-to-day life better.

2. Now, what are some easy ways to take a tiny step toward making it happen? (E.g. invite a colleague to a coffee to brainstorm about it, join a local Meetup group with likeminded individuals, enroll in a free online course related to it…)

3. No more waiting, make it happen this week!